21 Sept 2008 2:58:00 am

im afraid, because time flies so fast.

in 3-4 months am flying off, yet to another foreign land.
have friends who have done so, they seem to be coping really well, but few words on their blogs wouldn't exactly capture all their feelings. i wish them well.


there are so many things that are swimming in my head now, i can't sleep.
it has been like this for the past few days.

because life's so uncertain.
i feel so lost.
where is the ground?



so bro has not decided where he'd be studying. he is damn suay la. i wouldn't want to be in his position.
i know he's not too happy about how everything is not going too well now. and i can't do anything to help him.
useless sister feels bad.

any decision he makes, he will be on his own.
be it in sg, or aussie.
i know he loves company a lot, don't like to be alone kinda person.
if he were to go to a boarding school, he has to be totally independent, with no friends he knows around.
it would not be easy, and i worry for him.
afterall he's my only brother.
however much i don't want to admit, i love him a lot.
hiak hiak, i hope he doesn't see this and puke in front of his comp.

decision he makes would be costly either way.
its my parents hard earned money and i don't know if we can justify the money spent.
the counsellor said that 'a parents greatest gift they can give to their children is through funding their education, and that that's what they want to do'.


父母好伟大哦。
i will never be a parent for this reason. HAHA. :P

lost control and broke down in the idp the day i went over.
the career counsellor went.. 'hey can not do this, it looks as though i just bullied you'. hahahaha.
okay shuddup stop laughing i know its embarrassing. -.-


family wise... studying overseas is a long period of time. who knows what will happen during this period of time.
i have two grandmas who are still around and i don't know if they'd still be after i complete my studies.
i have no wish of returning home for unforeseeable reasons, and i love them loads. how? no one knows.


i cannot turn back time, so how.
its a very big opportunity cost. to leave family and friends.
but its probably for the same reason i want to leave this comfort zone.
its confusing and conflicting; i know what i want-what to study and where and is firm in my decision, yet i don't know if the other uncontrollable factors would play a major factor in a decision.

im afraid. very in fact. i want to go complete my studies and return home the same way it is now. (maybe with daddy and mummy a lil richer, and still as healthy). ((:

they're getting old. by the time i finish my studies i'd be 21-22.
find a partner, get married and set a family (pui) soon after.
not much time with them.
bad.

时间不够用


there are so many what ifs.
there are still so many issues.
many of which i have no ability to solve on my own.
i'll let time decide.
this is hard.
thank you for being with me all these while. (:


am pretty glad hx would be with me.
its good to have a close good friend to talk to anytime.
you know she actually did a pretty impressive collation/comparison of our potential house.
we'd be moving in tgt! HAHAHAHAHA.
sounds disgusting actually but aiks, we'll live with it.
:P